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Why Men Don't Ask Enough Questions on a First Date

Updated: 23 hours ago

You're sitting across from your date, the ambiance is nice, the food is great, but something is off. You notice that your date hasn't asked you many questions about yourself. If this scenario sounds familiar, you're not alone. Many women note that men often don't ask enough questions on a first date. This lack of inquiry can make the whole experience feel one-sided and leave you wondering if they're genuinely interested. So what is going on, and what can you do about it? Let's explore.

Why Men Don't Ask Enough Questions

Why Men Don't Ask Enough Questions

Social Conditioning

Society often conditions men to be less verbally and emotionally expressive than women. This conditioning may cause some men to feel like it's not "masculine" to ask too many questions or dig deep into emotions or opinions.


First-date jitters are real for everyone. Sometimes, anxiety can make it hard for men to focus on the other person, as they're preoccupied with how they're coming across and they don't ask enough questions.

Lack of Awareness

Some men may simply not realize that they're dominating the conversation. They may be caught up in the moment and forget to engage enough with their date.

Traditional Gender Roles

Believe it or not, some men might still be influenced by traditional gender roles that place them in the position of needing to "impress" their date. In doing so, they may unintentionally talk more about themselves and don't ask enough questions.

What to Do if a Man Doesn't Ask Enough Questions?

Be Proactive

Don't wait for him to take the reins. Steer the conversation in a way that creates space for questions. You can pause after sharing an anecdote or opinion, giving him an opening to dive deeper.

Prompt Them

Sometimes people just need a nudge. Feel free to use phrases like, "What about you?" or, "Have you ever experienced something like that?" to signal that it's their turn to share and inquire.

Be Direct

If you're not getting the level of engagement you'd like, there's no harm in being straightforward. Kindly mention that you're interested in hearing more about them and would appreciate their questions too.

Look for Nonverbal Cues

Communication isn't just verbal. Pay attention to his body language, like eye contact or leaning in, as these nonverbal cues can also indicate interest.


If after giving it a fair shot you find that he is still not asking enough questions, it might be a sign of deeper incompatibility. At this point, you may need to decide if this is a deal-breaker for you.

First dates are not just about romantic sparks; they're also a time to get to know each other. If you find yourself in a situation where your date isn't asking enough questions, remember that you have options. From gently steering the conversation to being upfront about your needs, there are several ways to address the issue. After all, open and balanced communication is the cornerstone of any promising relationship.


Anna Morgan Dating Coach Ask questions

As a transformational dating coach,  I specialize in guiding men frustrated with dating apps' superficiality toward finding meaningful love and real connections. I offer 1:1 coaching sessions and empowering dating profile pictures for successful online dating. Contact me and schedule a free discovery call. See you on the bright side of dating!

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