Online dating—it’s like being dropped into a jungle with nothing but your phone and a few photos to survive on. Swipe right, swipe left, match, message... crickets. If you’re feeling like online dating is more work than your actual job, you’re not alone. But here’s the thing: online dating doesn’t have to suck. As a dating coach, I’ve worked with many clients and helped them to navigate online dating. Here’s my cheat sheet on how to improve online dating success—and no, it doesn’t involve sending “Hey, how’s it going?” for the hundredth time.
Here Is How to Improve Online Dating Success
1. Know Your Core Values
Before you even open an app, take a hot minute to figure out your core values. Is it honesty, ambition, humor, family? If you know your values it can help you spot someone who aligns with them—and just as importantly, who doesn’t.
Think of it like car shopping: you wouldn’t settle for a sports car if you’re dreaming of an SUV to haul your camping gear. The same goes for dating. When your values don’t align, it’s a recipe for heartbreak.
2. Choose Photos That Tell a Story
Let’s talk about your photos. You don’t need to look like a model, but your pictures should tell a story about who you are. If you love hiking, include a photo of you on a trail. Love dogs? Let us meet your furry bestie.
Pro tip: Your body language in photos matters. Stand tall, smile naturally, and avoid those stiff, awkward poses that scream, “I hate this.” Confidence is magnetic, even in a picture.
3. Stop Trying to Please Everyone
Here’s some tough love: not everyone will like you—and that’s a good thing. Focus on attracting people who vibe with the real you, not the watered-down version. If you’re a Marvel nerd, let it shine. If you love indie coffee shops, put it in your profile.
People-pleasing leads to burnout and bad matches. Remember, deal breakers and
exist for a reason. If someone hates dogs and your dream is to open a dog rescue, swipe left and move on.
4. Get Clear on Your Attachment Style
Attachment styles are like a secret decoder ring for relationships. What type are you: anxious, avoidant, or secure? If you understanding your own attachment style it can help you spot patterns in your dating life.
For example, if you tend to chase emotionally unavailable people (hello, avoidant attachment), it’s time to course-correct. A dating consultant can help you work through these patterns so you stop repeating the same mistakes.
5. Master the Art of Messaging
The first message sets the tone. Skip the boring “Hey” or “What’s up?” and show genuine interest. Comment on something from their profile or ask a fun question, like, “If you could teleport anywhere for a day, where would you go?”
And don’t be afraid to sprinkle in some playful banter. Humor goes a long way in standing out from the crowd.
6. Set Boundaries and Stick to Them
Boundaries are your secret weapon. Know your deal breakers—whether it’s smoking, being rude to servers, or ghosting. Don’t ignore those red flags just because someone is cute or has a great job.
Remember: your time and energy are valuable, so if someone’s behavior feels off, trust your gut and move on.
7. Work with a Dating Expert
Sometimes, we all need a little help. If you work with a dating expert it can be a game-changer. A love coach can help you with many things (identifying blind spots, refining your profile, building confidence, etc.).
8. Don’t Take Rejection Personally
This one’s easier said than done, but rejection is just part of the game. It doesn’t mean you’re unworthy or unattractive; it just means you weren’t the right fit for that person.
9. Enjoy the Process
Finally, don’t forget to have fun. Online dating is just a tool, not a chore. If you treat it as an opportunity (to meet new people, learn about yourself, and get clear on what you want in a partner), it will improve online dating success.
When you approach dating with curiosity and an open heart, you’re much more likely to attract someone who matches your energy.
Now You Know How to Improve Online Dating Success
Learning how to improve online dating isn’t just about the perfect profile or the best opening line. It’s about human qualities (being authentic, knowing your worth, and staying true to your core values). If you feel stuck or overwhelmed, don’t be afraid to reach out to a relationship coach.
Ready for your next move? Whether it’s updating your profile, swiping with intention, or booking a session with a coach, take that first step. Your future self—and future partner—will thank you.
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Anna Morgan Coaching specializes in guiding men and women in breaking through emotional barriers and developing the mindset and skills needed for successful dating. Anna offers 1:1 dating coaching for men, dating coaching for women, relationship coaching, and empowering dating profile pictures for successful online dating. Book a free discovery call and learn how your dating life can be changed.
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