Love. It’s a word we toss around in everyday conversation. “I love pizza,” “I love that show,” “I love you.” But what does love really mean in the context of a relationship? If you’re on a quest to succeed in dating and relationships, understanding the true meaning of love can be your biggest advantage.
As a dating coach, I see people trying to crack the code on love all the time. From my experience, here’s something important to remember: love isn’t just a feeling; it’s also an action, a decision, and sometimes a challenge. So let’s explore what love really means in a healthy, thriving relationship.
The Meaning of Love in Dating and Relationships
1. Love is More Than Just a Feeling
Sure, those early days of a relationship feel magical. Your heart races when you see their name pop up on your phone, and every date feels like a scene from a rom-com. But that initial spark, the butterflies, isn’t the whole picture of love.
Love is about consistency, respect, and choosing to care for someone even when the spark dims a little. It’s about building something steady over time. As a dating coach, I often remind clients: “Infatuation fades, but deep love strengthens with time.”
2. Love is a Verb
Love doesn’t just show up—it’s nurtured. A healthy relationship requires effort, attention, and communication. Imagine love as a garden. You can’t just plant it and walk away. You water it, pull out the weeds (hello, unresolved issues!), and sometimes you need to prune (address bad habits or patterns).
As a dating expert, I often see people in relationships who expect things to be effortless. The reality? Good love is intentional. It’s about showing up for your partner, being their support system, and continuing to grow together.
“Doing, saying, expressing, showing, feeling, giving, receiving, sharing, wanting, imagining, playing, experiencing, exploring - those are verbs that have to do with relationships and love” – this is how Esther Perel, a famous relationship therapist, defines the meaning of love.
3. Love Requires Vulnerability
Here’s a hard truth I share as a love coach: you can’t have true love without vulnerability. To love deeply means you’re opening yourself up to the possibility of being hurt. But it’s also where you’ll find the deepest connection.
Being vulnerable doesn’t mean pouring your heart out on the first date (please don’t do that), but it does mean being honest about who you are, your desires, and fears. This is especially important in the dating world, where many people wear masks or play games.
As a dating consultant, I advise my clients to focus on authenticity. When you let your guard down and let someone see the real you, that’s when you start to build a connection based on real love, not just attraction.
4. Love is a Two-Way Street
One of the biggest issues I tackle in dating coaching is helping clients understand that love isn’t just about giving—it’s also about receiving. If you’re constantly giving but not getting the same in return, that’s not love; that’s an imbalance.
The healthy meaning of love is that both partners are putting in equal effort. If you both make sacrifices, show support, and meet each other’s needs, it will create a balance and lead to lasting love. And yes, sometimes that means hard conversations, which brings me to the next point.
5. Love Needs Communication
You’ve probably heard it before, but I’ll say it again: communication is the foundation. Whether it’s using “I” statements, active listening, or learning how to navigate conflict, good communication will make or break your love life.
Many clients come to relationship coaching thinking love alone will carry them through. It’s a sweet thought, but the truth is, without strong communication skills, even the best relationships can falter.
6. Love is a Choice
It’s easy to love someone when things are going great, but what about when life throws curveballs? Maybe you’re going through a stressful time at work, or you’ve hit a rough patch with your partner. This is where the decision to love becomes crucial.
Every day, you make a choice to show up for your partner—to be kind, patient, and supportive. I encourage my clients to think of the meaning of love as an ongoing commitment. It’s something you continually choose, even when times are tough.
7. Love Means Growth
A great relationship is one where you both grow—both individually and together. Love should push you to be the best version of yourself, and vice versa. If you’re feeling held back, that’s a red flag.
One of the things I work on with clients is making sure they’re in relationships that encourage growth. You want to be with someone who supports your dreams, challenges you to be better, and grows alongside you.
So, What’s the Real Meaning of Love in a Relationship?
Love is layered. It’s not just about that initial “spark.” It’s about consistency, effort, and showing up for each other, even on the tough days. It’s about choosing love over and over again, growing together, and having honest, vulnerable conversations.
Whether you’re just starting out in the dating world or you’re in a long-term relationship, understanding the meaning of love can totally change the game for you. And if you’re feeling stuck or unsure, working with a coach or therapist can help you get there.
Because honestly, love isn’t just about finding the “one”—it’s about building something real with them once you do. And trust me, when you get that part right, it’s worth everything.
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Anna Morgan is a transformational dating and relationship coach and dating profile photographer who is on a mission to help people have success in dating and relationships. She offers 1:1 coaching sessions, matchmaking, and empowering dating profile pictures and audits for successful online dating. Book a free 30-minute discovery call and learn how your love life can be changed.
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